


Funky Town

by bubblewrapstargirl



Series: Godstiel and St Dean [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angel Dean Winchester, Blasphemy, Cas speaks like Death from Terry Pratchett, Episode: s03e04 Sin City, Episode: s07e07 The Mentalists, Ghosts, Godstiel: Castiel as God, Heaven, M/M, Nephilim, Psychic Abilities, Season/Series 07, so much blasphemy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1301545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblewrapstargirl/pseuds/bubblewrapstargirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam doesn’t want to think about where Dean has been, or what he’s been doing in the week they’ve been separated. He’s pretty sure Dean was in Heaven, and if he’s being honest, he’d like Dean to go back there.</p><p>+++<br/>My episode re-writes, in a universe where Cas remained God, didn't release Leviathans on the world and almost explode (but he did mess up in other ways).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Funky Town

**Author's Note:**

> I gave a certain religious figure (Jesus) a Supernatural style twist to their back story. It's potentially way offensive if you're seriously religious (Christian). This is fiction, pure and simple, and not meant to be taken in any way as doctrine, my views on the matter, or anything else anywhere along those lines. (Though if you were down with God being a drunk in a dressing gown then you should be able take this.) If you don't think you can handle it, don't bother commenting to say so, because this was your warning. You are free to click the back button.

Dean likes to think he’s got the hang of this ‘traversing Heaven’ thing. Cas wanted him to get used to his wings in the safest environment for it. He mastered flying through the Meadows, and since then he’s learnt how to pop in and out of mortal’s Heavens without having to scribble in Enochian first. Locating particular Heavens, or certain angels in a different part of Heaven than him, is more difficult. Then there’s the Garden, or Throne room, depending on the mood Cas in. That’s the easiest place to find, since whenever Dean feels uncomfortable or doubts his abilities he automatically snaps back there, like he’s on a bungee. That’s happening less and less, in fact, Dean’s pretty sure he’s got this having wings thing down.

That is, until he flies through what feels like a wall of air and he’s suddenly in a section of Heaven he’s never seen or heard of before. There are people everywhere; it’s far too big a space to be someone’s personal Heaven. Unless it’s a fancy dress party, it wouldn’t make sense, since everyone is in mismatched period clothing, ranging from togas to full-body armour to kimonos. It’s a vast, empty cavern with high vaulted ceilings, yet somehow brightly lit with no visible light source.

There are long tables filled with huge overflowing plates of food, and the alcohol is flowing freely. Dean spies rich red wine, mead and sake, to name but a few. There are people throwing various weaponry in challenges of accuracy, and there are strange sparring partners as far as the eye can see. In short, it looks a bit like Valhalla, except that it isn’t filled to the brim with Vikings. Though, judging by the blondes with battle axes mingling amongst the masses, there are certainly Norse warriors amongst the revellers here.

There don’t appear to be any other angels in here and no one is paying Dean any undue attention. He turns to the best source of Heavenly expertise he knows.

 **Uh, Cas?** he prays, **Can you join me for a minute?**

OF COURSE.

The empty spot on Dean’s left is suddenly occupied by the dark-haired God of all things.

ARE YOU QUITE WELL BELOVED?

If Dean could blush in Heaven, he certainly would at the use of that endearment. Instead he just fumbles about for a minute and then gives up, waving at the room at large. **Cas, where in the hell are we?**

WE ARE THE FARTHEST PLACE FROM HELL. I ASSURE YOU.

**Uh, that’s great Cas. I know we’re still in Heaven. But I meant where specifically?**

Cas gives him one of those fond, indulgent smiles that make Dean’s insides squirm.

THIS IS ELYSIUM. IT IS THE HEAVEN OF WARRIORS. THERE ARE MANY DEMI-GODS AND HEROES HERE. YOU YOURSELF WOULD HAVE HAD ACCESS TO THIS HALLOW IF YOU HAD REMAINED DEAD FOR ANY SUBSTANTIAL LENGTH OF TIME.

Den sets that little nugget of info aside for another time, his brain too busy latching on to something else.

 **Demi-gods?** he repeats, **I thought pagans couldn’t get into Heaven?**

YOU MISTAKE ME. THESE ARE MERELY THE CHILDREN OF GODS. THEY DID NOT WREAK HAVOC UPON EARTH. THEY ARE WARRIORS AND LEADERS. SUCH AS PERSEUS AND JESUS.

 **Jesus? But I didn’t think he really existed. I thought that was one of the things the Bible got wrong.** Dean is mildly pissed that Cas has never mentioned this before. Jesus was a pretty hardcore dude; he might have been able to help out during the apocalypse-that-wasn’t.

Cas touches his shoulder in a gesture of reassurance, as though he knows what’s running through Dean’s mind. IN MANY WAYS, YOU ARE CORRECT. JESUS WAS NOT THE SON OF GOD, HE WAS NEPHILIM. THAT IS WHY HE HAD THE GIFTS OF AN ANGEL AND YET WAS BORN IN MORTAL FLESH.

 **So he was the son of an angel?** Dean clarifies, **Why did he go around telling everyone he was the son of God?**

WHICH ANGEL DO YOU KNOW WHO WAS THOUGHT OF AS A GOD BY SOME.

Dean’s forehead wrinkles in confusion. Even Michael hadn’t tried to take God’s place; the only angel he knows who managed that was Cas himself. And yet, that doesn’t seem to be what Cas is getting at. All at once, he is assaulted by a memory of being stuck in a basement with a demon occupying the body of a beautiful woman who had been way too easy to relate to.

They’d been trapped there, neither able to move on the other, and they’d ended up talking to pass the time. It had ended in the most bizarre way; she’d tried to stop her lover from killing Dean, and Dean had tried to stop Sam doing the same to the demons. It was the closest Dean had ever come to believing a demon, and almost sympathising with her. It was during the year of his deal- it had been a strange time.

“You think humans have an exclusive on higher power?” She had said, her luscious dark hair brushing against her shoulders as she stretched.

“You have a god?” That had been a strain for Dean to believe back then. He’d never heard of such a thing; demons were just savages, no rhyme or reason that he could make out.

“Sure.” She’d said, “His name’s Lucifer.”

She’d claimed to be a true believer; she had faith that Lucifer would return one day and create a demon-paradise for them.

It all became clear to Dean in a sudden, horrible rush of inspiration.

**Lucifer? Jesus was actually Lucifer’s kid? Why wasn’t he the anti-Christ then?**

JESUS IS NOT EVIL DEAN. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT PEOPLE ARE NOT AN EXTENSION OF THEIR PARENTS. THEIR FATES ARE DETERMINED BY THEIR OWN DECISIONS. JESUS REJECTED LUCIFER’S GUIDANCE AT EVERY TURN AND USED HIS ANGELIC ABILITIES FOR THE BENEFIT OF OTHERS. HE WAS FAITHFUL TO GOD.

There are so many questions swimming in Dean’s brain he can’t even begin to organise them all. Eventually he says; **Why’d Lucifer knock Mary up anyway? I thought he hated humans.**

LUCIFER WAS INDEED MOST BITTER AFTER MARY REJECTED HIM FOR JOSEPH. SHE WANTED A MORTAL HUSBAND AND SHE FEARED LUCIFER’S ARROGANCE AND DISRESPECT AGAINST GOD. SHE TAUGHT HER SON TO FEAR AND LOVE GOD BEFORE ALL OTHERS. THAT IS WHY JESUS CLAIMED GOD AS HIS ETERNAL FATHER. JUST AS ALL ANGELS DO. HE WISHED TO BE ONE OF THE HOST AND A BROTHER TO US.

**And the Crucifixion?**

NATURALLY A NEPHILIM CANNOT BE KILLED BY SUCH MEANS. BUT HE WAS WEAKENED AND NEEDED SEVERAL DAYS TO RECOVER. AFTER THAT INCIDENT DREW UNDUE ATTENTION GOD DECIDED IT WAS TIME HE TOOK UP HIS PLACE IN HEAVEN.

 **Wow.** Dean shakes his head in disbelief. **Did he mean to start a religion or was that just a side effect?**

THERE IS A REASON WHY THE JEWISH PEOPLE WERE MY FATHER’S CHOSEN ONES. THEY REMAINED FAITHFUL TO THE SCRIPTURE WHEN OTHERS TRIED TO GIVE JESUS’ STORY INCORRECT REVERENCE.

Well, the more you know. Dean can’t wait to share this titbit with Sam; it’ll blow his geeky little mind. Then Dean remembers Sam is still pissed at him for smiting his monster ex, and the grin slides off his face. It’s time he got down to Earth to face the music. He tells Cas as much, and gets accosted with a deep kiss goodbye. Dean allows it, but he doesn’t kiss back. Cas doesn’t push the issue, for which Dean is pathetically grateful. He can’t deal with two people trying to pull him in directions he doesn’t want to go right now. He just needs some space to breathe, damn it.

It was bad enough when it was just Cas pushing the romantic connection between them. But having Sam try to convince him to let a monster go free was the last straw. No one knows better than Dean that the world isn’t black and white. But Dean knows a killer when he sees one, and he knows the type of person who will or won’t do it again. If it was to save someone she cared about, Amy would kill again, and Dean couldn’t let that go. He’s an angel now; all that righteous anger he used to carry got juiced-up into an actual halo, and a means of meting out holy justice. Dean can’t just switch it off; it’s a part of him now, and it’s a part that won’t be denied.

He uses his cheat-tracker to locate Sam, and then spends a short amount of time watching him on the spirit plane. That way he can read about the case Sam’s on and pretend he just happened to catch wind of the same one. If Sam doesn’t buy it when Dean plonks himself down across the table from his giant-ass little brother, he certainly doesn’t call Dean out on it.

Sam’s giving him the silent treatment, but Dean plows on regardless, and orders pancakes and bacon, because he wants to eat, damn it all. The waiter is some kind of New Age hippie, and he calls Dean a ‘virile manifestation of the divine’ whatever the hell that means. The use of the word ‘divine’ makes Dean highly uncomfortable, considering what he is. Sam just snorts and scoffs like the bitch _he_ is.

\--

Sam doesn’t want to think about where Dean has been, or what he’s been doing, in the week they’ve been separated. He’s pretty sure Dean was in Heaven, and if he’s being honest, he’d like Dean to go back there.

This case is stupid; annoying ‘psychics’ faking supernatural abilities, when they’d all probably run a mile screaming if a real ghost tried to contact a loved one through them. It’s frustrating, these civilians who use the pain and torture that is the world beyond the mundane, for cheap entertainment. Or worse, to prey on people’s fantasies, when Sam and all the other hunters out there would give anything not to know about this crap. Ignorance is bliss, and these people don’t know how good they have it.

They rule out cursed object pretty quick, and then they’re on to much more humanised motives for these deaths. The many crystal balls in this town could be allowing a vengeful spirit to zip all over place, and apparently its giving people visions of their own demise as a nicely creepy calling card. Dean’s trying to tap into his angel fu to see who here has real juice, but so far its a bust. It seems it takes time to get a hold of your inner angel if you weren’t born that way.

In the meantime, they eventually get some leads to follow; two of the beautiful psychics in town, one of whom is the granddaughter of a victim, and the other her good friend, who experienced a vision. Thankfully, it was caught on camera, and they get a good look at the ghost handing out death visions. Melanie, the granddaughter, recognises her from the local museum, so they take the guided tour and the guide is full of helpful facts about the Fox sister act. It also dredges up questions; about how much of Sam’s current ire is based in the fact that he and Dean have basically lived in one another’s pockets their entire lives. But Sam’s too angry at this point to acknowledge any reasons other than Dean’s a lying dick-bag.

Unfortunately, they burn the wrong bones, and lose Camille as a result. It turns out that ghostly Kate was just trying to warn people about her psychic bitch of a sister. And they’ve been overlooking a very important aspect of this case. It’s not a coincidence these are all headline acts dropping like flies; someone is out to take the top spot it seems. It annoys Sam that he didn't think of it first, before Dean, but that doesn't make it any less of a valid lead.

When they do get to the bottom of it, and Sam shoots the guy who was controlling the vengeful ghost, he realises that most of his anger at Dean is gone. Dean had a point when he called Sam out on the fact that killing Amy would have been a no-brainer, if he hadn’t known her previously. And that angels can’t just let things like wilful murder go. And that Dean can’t trust anyone now after what Cas did. It’s a big messy ball of hard truths, and Sam is done trying to find deeper meaning in it all. He works better with Dean by his side, and he’d be a hypocrite not to acknowledge his own trust issues when it came to non-humans. So they’re together again, for as long as Dean is Earth-bound anyway.

They pick up a simple salt and burn in some tiny town in West Virginia, and everything’s normal until they’re digging up the grave (which is all on Dean now with his angel strength). The ghost pops up to try and stop them, which is pretty standard behaviour, until it tries to fling Dean away and utterly fails. This, Sam has seen before, when Dean was a new angel and still learning the ropes. However, he isn’t expecting Dean to punch the ghost; or for it to go flying back in the exact same manner that _they_ usually do when whammied by supernatural abilities. Dean doesn’t seem surprised though; in fact, it seems he was counting on it, as it gives them the time they need to salt and light the bones.

Dean isn’t forthcoming about the incident, and the Dodge Challenger might not be the Impala, but the stony silence is the same when Sam pushes too far. They’ve decided to forgo their annual Las Vegas R&R, since Dean can’t enjoy it properly anymore and Sam has no real desire to go. Somehow, they end up at Bobby’s.

There’s been a rift between Dean and Bobby, since Bobby tried gunning for Cas via the horseman of Death, and Dean went and married Cas instead. It seems they’re going the Winchester route of repress and deny until the issue cowers in fright, and Sam doesn’t want to get between that with a ten foot pole. He spends his spare time reading up on all things fanged and clawed, whilst Dean hammers out his frustrations on Bobby’s junkers. It seems to work, because for a while, everything seems a little more stable. Like they could somehow get on top of situation with Cas, and Dean's new powers, and work out how to kill the new freak that managed to steal their skin and get them wanted men again; and somehow come out of the other side intact with all their faculties. It's a shot in the dark, but Sam's willing to bet on his brother; every time.


End file.
